A distillation of lessons learned

Level: All levels

Class style: Lecture and discussion

Being a skilled bottom pushes you to hone your philosophy on play, your process for finding it, and your views on the many issues related to kink. Knowing these things about yourself is important, but when you add a partner to the mix, what you’re dealing with becomes exponentially more complex. 

It’s easy to think back fondly about one’s great experiences and successes on their kink journey. What was most educational to us were the bottoms with longevity in kink who think back positively, without anger or resentment, about their negative experiences and failures, as well as the people who crossed their paths.

Conflict and mistakes are inevitable in kink, and we’ve found that the determining factors which help bottoms find joy and longevity are reframing negative experiences and learning from them – and maintaining relationships along the way.

We examine this huge and scary mess of interpersonal dynamics and attempt to simplify it into frameworks we can use to disentangle nuances of play relationships.

We will cover difficult topics such as: 

• How to find a compatible top

• How to vet pragmatically 

• How to approach many special play cases in a risk-informed manner

• The complexities of consent and BDSM

• How to handle play that went wrong 

Learn about the magic that experienced bottoms have mastered and the wisdom they gained. We will cover more nuanced bottoming skills, philosophies, and approaches to dealing with the complicated experiences many bottoms face along their journey.