Which D/s class is right for me?

We love D/s and love to geek out on it. It is one of the most intensely rewarding and impactful experiences that BDSM has to offer. D/s has this seemingly magical power to imbue simple acts and interactions with passionate intention and soulful meaning.

When it comes to demand for education, D/s is one of the most requested topics. There are many types of D/s classes out there and we want to survey the common ones and help people make the best out of them.
We also want to highlight how our D/s class (Power Tools: A D/s Manual) compares to these types of classes.

The current choices, and how they can help

We seek more knowledge about D/s wherever we can find it. We read books about it, talk to other practitioners, attend every D/s class we can attend, and go to D/s sessions at conferences we attend.
Of course, any class can be done well or badly. Since it’s difficult to know that before attending, we offer suggestions for making the best of the situation regardless of whether the class is good or bad.

We found that most D/s classes can be described by one or more of the following categories:

1. The “D/s is great” class
   This type of class is usually full of hot stories about D/s examples and reasons why D/s is worth exploring.
   It’s useful if you are curious about D/s, tempted to try it, but not yet fully onboard. One example of a person who benefits from this class is someone who can’t reconcile their desire to engage in D/s with social expectations of their gender or their feminist beliefs. This class helps you let go of your reservations and give yourself permission to explore.

2. The “Meet our D/s” class
   This type of class is usually taught by people in a D/s dynamic who are sharing how they do D/s and think about it. It sometimes features D/s-flavored pictures and/or demonstrations. It can also have some crowd-pleaser stories such as “How Daddy punished funished the little brat that one time when they intentionally did that cheeky thing!”. These stories provide great edutainment.
   This type of class is useful if you’re already practicing D/s and would like to compare notes with other practitioners. The less likely scenario where it is useful is if you and your D/s partners are in many ways identical to the people who are teaching the class.

3. The “Relationship skills” class
   This type of class discusses standard relationship skills such as “effective communication practices” or “setting boundaries”, but it uses D/s as the context.
   These classes are useful in introducing you to some concepts or frameworks that you might not have heard of before such as Attachment Theory, Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication, or The Gottman Four Horsemen.
   When done well, these classes introduce such frameworks and discuss how they can be used in a D/s dynamic and where they don’t fit.
   Even when not done well, these classes can provide a starting point to independently gain a greater understanding of these psycho-social principles and how they can be applied to D/s. As with many psychological frameworks, the elements we find useful are subject to our own interpretation and highly individual.
   Ideally, the instructors can provide you with some good resources for further study. Resources to learn about these topics can be a book or course about the concept or even a relationship therapist trained in such a modality. You can also reach out to the broader community on FetLife for resource suggestions and some crowdsourcing of wisdom.

4. The “Specific D/s aspect” class
   This type of class focuses on one or few topics related to D/s such as “protocol” or “service”. Well-designed classes of this type are a useful deep dive into the focus topic.
   We haven’t yet met a D/s practitioner who is good at all aspects of D/s. Most people have deep experience with one or few of those aspects. When such a practitioner teaches a class about their area of expertise, it is nothing short of glorious! If you’re lucky enough to experience this, do what we do: pay them for a private lesson or consult where you get to drill down deeper and get their help with troubleshooting situations where you struggled.

5. The “100,000 foot overview” class
   This type of class usually introduces many topics very briefly. The topics are usually some mixture of the previous categories.
   You can think of this class as a guided reading of a glossary curated by the instructors. We’ve attended a lot of these. Especially at conferences. These classes help create a shared vocabulary about D/s, so they are best to attend alongside the people with whom you intend to discuss D/s.
   Some classes even list some of the things on the D/s “menu” so people have some understanding of what it includes and a basic definition of each component.
   One thing we recommend is seeking other people’s definitions of the same terms and components. You will discover that it’s rare for 2 sources to agree on an understanding of these topics. This provides you with more options to choose from and find what works for you.

All of these types of classes can offer great edutainment. They also offer a chance for meeting other kindred spirits among the attendees. They are a place to find your people, especially those who care about educating themselves.

So why did we create our D/s class?

The short answer is because it’s sorely needed.

If you are convinced that you want to explore D/s and need to know what the steps are to get there, the class types mentioned earlier don’t offer the required guidance.
D/s is one of the most requested topics in our private lessons. We worked with numerous partnered people who wanted a clear framework for how to build a D/s dynamic and couldn’t find classes to help them accomplish that.

We decided to take the approach of giving people a manual that guides them through the phases of a D/s dynamic: from its conception all the way to the required maintenance, and even best practices for ending it.
We aim to give you a comprehensive understanding of the pieces we know to be important for successful D/s.

Like we do with other subjects we teach, our D/s class is not about our version of D/s. We don’t aim to promote a particular way of doing things. Instead, we explain different approaches along with the benefits and caveats of each. The goal is to help you make educated decisions about what works best for you in a given D/s dynamic and set you up for success as you navigate D/s in the wild.
You can think of it as an accelerated undergrad degree. Once you have it, you go out there and learn more by doing.

The trade-off we make is that our class is 4 hours long. With that said, it’s the class we wish we attended when we started our D/s journey.

One testimonial from a time when we taught this class says it best:

I wish I could have attended this class years ago when I first began exploring D/s with my partners. It provides a thorough and actionable framework for how to approach this exploration, and does so in a way that I truly believe sets people up for successful and fulfilling D/s relationships for all parties involved. The instructors are humble, and it is so clear their intent is to facilitate people through their own journey, as opposed to preaching or being prescriptive about the "right" way.